No matter how young or old you are, the ability to negotiate is a skill everyone needs. But how do you acquire this skill? These tips and techniques can help get you started.
Please note: While the focus of this article is to supply useful tips for customers, these skills can be applied to any situation.
First Rule of Negotiation: Be Kind
The best negotiators recognize the importance of kindness in their interactions with other people. Since humans are incredibly complex beings, the last thing that is helpful to your cause is disregarding that the person across the counter has emotions, feelings, and needs. So, as you approach the employee that is going to help you, reach out and be kind, no matter the tone or attitude of the other person.
Being kind does not mean that you should excuse any bad behavior, but rather, to try to take each approach without escalating the issue. Sometimes it is necessary to call in a manager for problem resolution, but it should only be done as a last resort.
In addition, employees report they are more willing to go above and beyond for customers who are kind than those who are rude, deriding, and threatening. As Baz Gale once said, “Kindness, it costs nothing but means everything...”
Go in with a Plan
There are two parts to this step: first, clearly define the problem that needs to be solved (ie. what you need); and second, how the problem is resolved in a way that is beneficial to both parties. By entering with a well-defined plan, you have something to negotiate with. For example: are you trying to return an item that is past the 90-day return policy? Your plan might be to accept store credit or a discounted return. This way, you receive the benefit of money via a gift card, and the store doesn’t lose money for a return made past the 90-day limit.
Whatever your plan, be sure that it benefits both parties.
Your plan should include tangible information, not generalities. If you are trying to negotiate a debt settlement, use concrete numbers and not a range of what you might be able to afford. If you are requesting a raise at work, know what a person should make with your experience and ask for the amount or percentage increase. By being specific, you can keep the doors of communication open for the other person to agree or to offer another solution.
Understand Possible Objections and How to Overcome Them
A business or employee may have concerns with fulfilling your requests, so communication is vital to keep the negotiations going. This includes three parts:
1- Listen carefully to what they are saying – not how they are saying it.
2- Repeat their objection to make sure that you are understanding what they are saying.
3- Offer a solution to the objection.
Don’t be afraid of silence while you collect your thoughts. There is an inclination to rush everything in life, but resist the urge to rush when negotiating. Silence is your ally so let it work its magic to your advantage.
Accept You May Not Get What You Want
No matter how hard you may work at perfecting your negotiating skills, there is still a chance that you may not accomplish what you wanted. Whatever the case, accept it graciously. People will appreciate your strength of character and be more willing to help you in future situations if you leave each situation with a positive attitude.
Basic Communication Tips
1- Listen with the intent to understand. It can be so easy to think of your next response while someone else is talking. Don’t do this! Paying attention will save a lot of miscommunication and time.
2- Don’t interrupt and ask that you not be interrupted. There is a temptation to jump in when someone says something that we don’t agree with. No argument ever reached a resolution by the participants interrupting one another, so if you want a productive conversation: don’t interrupt! If you are interrupted, get the other person’s attention and politely remind them that you weren't finished speaking.
3- Ask for clarification if something is not clear to you.
4- Resist knee-jerk reactions. Staying in control of yourself is the best way to enter and leave a conversation.
5- Be willing to walk away. Sometimes those we communicate with are not willing to follow the basic rules of effective communication. Know that it is healthy to set and keep boundaries so that you are not drained emotionally, physically, and mentally. Rather than becoming frustrated, give yourself the gift of walking away.
Do you have an experience where communication has helped you in a way you didn’t expect? If so, share the story with us in the comments below!